More Than a Walk: Finding the Armed Forces Community in Unexpected Places
I signed up to climb Pen y Fan for charity. That sounds very straightforward when you say it quickly. What I perhaps failed to consider was that I don't really do walking. I definitely don't do hiking. And I was going to turn up to an event where I knew absolutely nobody. So, naturally, I was absolutely terrified.
But what started as a charity walk turned into one of those weekends that reminded me why the Armed Forces community has been such a huge part of my life for so many years.
It also reminded me that supporting that community can mean much more than simply putting a logo on a website or offering a discount.
Sometimes it means turning up. Sometimes it means listening. And sometimes it means buying a bottle of rum from a veteran-owned business because it's bloody delicious.
I'll come back to that bit.
Why Pen y Fan?
For anyone who isn't familiar with Pen y Fan, it is the highest mountain in southern Britain, standing at 886 metres in the Bannau Brycheiniog, formerly known as the Brecon Beacons.
But for the Armed Forces community, it means something a little different. The Brecon Beacons have a long association with British military training, and Pen y Fan forms part of the infamous terrain used in the selection environment for UK Special Forces.
The Fan Dance, one of the best-known Special Forces test marches, includes an ascent of Pen y Fan. It is a demanding route across some seriously unforgiving terrain.
So when you tell someone from the military community that you're going to climb Pen y Fan, it doesn't necessarily sound like a gentle Saturday morning walk. For me, it certainly didn't feel like one.
I was about to discover that my definition of a good Saturday and the Armed Forces' definition of a good Saturday are perhaps slightly different.
The Forces Wives Challenge
The event I took part in was organised by Forces Wives Challenge.
And I think it is worth explaining what Forces Wives Challenge actually does because it is about much more than getting a group of women up a mountain.
Forces Wives Challenge is a social enterprise created to bring women connected to the Armed Forces together through adventure and challenge. Its membership is made up of women whose lives have been impacted by their military connection, including wives, fiancées and long-term partners of serving personnel and veterans, including Reservists.
The organisation creates opportunities to get outdoors, learn new skills, challenge yourself and, perhaps most importantly, build friendships.
That last part is particularly important.
Military life can be incredibly transient. You move. Your partner gets posted. Friends move away. You start again. Sometimes you find yourself living somewhere you have never been before, without your usual support network around you. And you become very good at saying goodbye and starting again.
Forces Wives Challenge creates a space where women can meet other people who understand at least part of that experience.
The challenges range from walks and hikes to outdoor skills, sailing, kayaking, cycling and much bigger adventures. It is about confidence, wellbeing, friendship and belonging as much as it is about the physical challenge. And that is exactly what I experienced on Pen y Fan.
I knew nobody
I was genuinely nervous. I didn't know anyone. And walking into a group of strangers is not something I naturally find easy anyway. Add a mountain into the equation and I was questioning my life choices.
But within minutes I was talking to people. Everyone had their own story. Some were connected to serving personnel. Some were connected to veterans. Some had lived military life for years. Others had completely different experiences from mine. But there was that common thread. The Armed Forces.
I spoke to some wonderful people and heard some incredible stories. And perhaps that is the thing about these communities. You don't necessarily need to have lived exactly the same life as someone else to understand something about their experience. You just need to have that shared connection.
The walk became less about getting to the top and much more about the people I was walking alongside. I enjoyed it so much that I've already decided I'll be doing it again next year. Which is quite something when you consider that I am still maintaining that hiking is not my thing.
Ash, meanwhile, couldn't possibly let me do it on my own, so he walked it twice. At one point I was so engrossed in conversation that I walked straight past him without even noticing him. Which probably tells you how much I'd relaxed by that point.
Supporting the Duke of Lancaster's Regiment charity
The reason I was there was to raise money for the Regimental Charity of The Duke of Lancaster's Regiment. That matters to me for obvious reasons. Ash served with the Regiment, so this isn't an abstract connection for us. It's part of our family history.
But it is also important to understand what the Regimental Charity actually does. The charity exists to support the interests and welfare of serving and former members of the Regiment and its antecedent regiments.
That includes benevolence and welfare support for members of the regimental family and their dependants who are experiencing need because of circumstances including financial hardship, sickness or old age.
It also supports the wider regimental family by helping preserve traditions, maintain connections between serving and former members and support other aspects of regimental life.
In other words, behind the name of the charity are real people. Serving soldiers. Veterans. Families. Dependants. People who might need a bit of help at a particularly difficult point in their lives. That is why fundraising matters.
And why I was happy to get myself up a mountain. Even if I was considerably less happy about that mountain when I first saw it.
From one military connection to another
After Pen y Fan, our weekend continued in a way that seemed to perfectly demonstrate what I mean when I talk about the Armed Forces community.
We were lucky enough to be invited to stay with one of Ash's old Iraq mates who owns the Gower Inn. There is something quite special about military friendships. Some are built through years of ordinary life. Others are forged through experiences that are difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't there.
Ash hadn't seen this particular friend for 23 years, but the welcome was incredibly warm.
We stayed at Parc Le Breos, which was absolutely beautiful. The room was amazing. The host was lovely. And after climbing Pen y Fan... That bath.
THAT BATH.
It was genuinely one of the best things I have ever seen. After that walk, I would quite happily have moved into the bathroom.
Supporting businesses within the community
From there we headed to The Gower Inn for food. And I think I may have found my kind of place. The décor was fantastic, the food was beautiful and it was exactly the sort of pub that makes you want to sit down and stay for the evening.
Ash and I were already planning another trip down for another meal before we'd even left. And then I discovered something else. Chris, who runs the pub, makes his own rum.......
I am choosing to call this supporting a veteran-owned business. But this got me thinking. We talk a lot about supporting the Armed Forces community. But what does that actually look like?
Support can be much bigger than a discount
As a property lawyer, I work with serving personnel, Reservists, veterans and Armed Forces families every day. I understand the peculiarities that can come with military home ownership. Forces Help to Buy. Postings. Deployments. Service accommodation. March-out dates.
The practical realities of buying and selling a home when your life can change at very short notice. That is one part of my support for the community.
But it isn't the only part.
For me, supporting the Armed Forces community also means supporting the people within it. It means supporting military charities. It means getting involved with organisations such as Forces Wives Challenge. It means meeting people and hearing their stories. It means supporting veteran-owned and military-connected businesses when I have the opportunity. It means telling other people about those businesses.
And sometimes it simply means turning up.
I think that is the part that can get lost when we talk about “supporting the Armed Forces”. Behind the phrase are real people. People who have served. People who are still serving. Spouses who have built careers around postings and deployments. Families who have moved home repeatedly. Veterans who have had to build completely new lives after leaving the military. People who have started businesses, created products, opened pubs and built careers.
They aren't simply a group of people who need support. They are a community full of talent, experience, resilience, businesses and stories. And I think we should support all of that.
I went to climb a mountain...
I went to Wales expecting to climb a mountain. I came home with new connections, new stories, a very sore body and an even greater appreciation for the people who make up the Armed Forces community.
And I've realised that the weekend wasn't really about climbing Pen y Fan. It was about people. The women who turned up through Forces Wives Challenge. The people whose stories I heard on the walk. The charity we were raising money for. Ash's old friend who welcomed us into his home. The businesses we discovered. The people behind those businesses. And all those little moments of connection that you don't plan.
That is what community looks like to me.
It isn't always grand. It isn't always visible. And it certainly isn't just about wearing a badge. Sometimes it's a mountain. Sometimes it's a conversation. Sometimes it's a meal. And sometimes it's simply turning up.
And there is still time to support the charity
Donations to the Duke of Lancaster's Regiment charity remain open until 15 October. And JB Property Law will match every donation made.
So if you'd like to support the charity that got me up Pen y Fan and the serving and former members of the Regiment and their families that it supports there is still time to donate.
And if you are part of the Armed Forces community and you've never tried a Forces Wives Challenge event, I'd thoroughly recommend stepping outside your comfort zone.
Just don't ask me to pretend I enjoyed the hill. I enjoyed the people. The hill was just the price of admission.
